How to Get from Self-Judgment to Self-Acceptance

Why am I so uninspired?

Can’t I think of ANY new blog content to write?

Could I just get out of my own damn way? 

Feeling not enough has made my high-vibe life seem anything but uplifting… Distractions like online shopping, social media, and oversleeping have taken up energy I could’ve spent on helping you unleash your greatness.

It sucks to get so down on myself and feel powerless to break free! Yet, self-judgment isn’t really about me. It stems from past conditioning that affects so many women. For me, this conditioning came from my grandmother, who had a lifelong influence on the woman I’ve become.

My grandmother taught me to judge myself and others based on appearance. To her, “overweight” and “worthless” were one in the same. And, the thinner you were, the worthier you were.  Through her conditioning, I learned to restrict myself to win her approval. I weighed myself and counted calories compulsively. I also rejected others who didn’t fit her narrow definition of a worthy human being.

All the while, resentment plagued me. The pleasure of eating freely and being authentic felt totally out of reach. People who weren’t in shape triggered my resistance, instead of inspiring the love and compassion that every human being deserves.

In judging yourself, you tap into deep conditioning that blocks your connection with yourself and others.

If you resonate with that nagging feeling of not enough—even when life seems to be going your way—your conditioning might be to blame. Reflect on these questions; if you answer yes to any of them, read the tips that follow for guidance on how to release self-judgment.

Are there certain behaviors and people that trigger you to judge yourself and/or others?

Think back to the people and experiences that influenced the judgments you currently have. Then, reflect on whether you’re exposing yourself to people, media, and situations that trigger self-judgment. Acknowledge yourself for becoming aware of your triggers and the roots of your judgmental attitude; it’s the first step to change!

How would you think, speak, and act differently if self-acceptance were a true priority? 

You can’t fulfill yourself if you don’t accept yourself. When you feel self-judgment creeping in, take a deep breath and choose a more positive behavior. For example, if you find yourself judging your body in the mirror each morning, choose to affirm one positive thing your body has allowed you to do that day. Your focus on self-acceptance will help you accept others with your whole heart, too.

When do you find yourself feeling less capable of being, doing, and having all you desire?

Pay attention to the emotional and physical patterns you fall into when you feel not enough. For me, I can tell self-judgment is getting the best of me when I become easily distracted and feel powerless and lazy. These behaviors and feelings are signals that it’s time to treat yourself with compassion and acceptance.

When you face your judgments and the conditioning surrounding them, you release emotions that stop you from connecting authentically with yourself and others.

If you find yourself getting upset by my blog, take it an opportunity to examine your emotional triggers. We all have them and they just show up differently based on your experiences. I invite you to share your journey with self-judgment—and especially, any tools that have helped you break free—in the comments below!